The End
by Madeline118
Summary: Shepard gives her life for the galaxy to achieve synthesis. She thinks of her friends, and of her love Garrus. This story will follow Garrus as he deals with his loss, and will probably be really sad. So sit down, grab your tissues, and enjoy the ride.
1. Gone

Shepard looked at the beam ahead of her, white and blue swirling together in an array of light. She had come so far to destroy the Reapers, she had lost so many people in this war. And now… Now she had three options: control the Reapers, destroy the Reapers, or synthesis. She knew the correct path, as it was strait ahead, but she also knew it would mean her death. She thought of Garrus as she began to stumble forward. He was the most important thing to her, and she was leaving him. She remembered their earlier conversation.

_"Shepard. So I guess this is…" he trailed off, and she scoffed lightly, knowing what he was going to say._

_ "Just like old times?" she asked humorously, smiling faintly at her lover. He chuckled, shifting slightly. His gaze hardened a bit as he looked at her._

_ "Huh.. Might be the last chance we get to say that." She was shocked._

_ "They think we're gonna lose?" she asked incredulously._

_ "No," he began, "I think we're about to kick the Reapers back into whatever black hole they crawled out of." His voice went from serious to more playful, "Then we're going to retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties from the vids," he paused, hesitant to say what he wanted to next, "Maybe even find out what a turian-human baby looks like." His blue eyes were soft as they stared at her, and she felt butterflies in her stomach, despite the circumstances. Them, parents? Would biology even let them? She guessed not, but figured there would be a lot of kids that would need to be adopted, regardless of species. She laughed lightly._

_ "I'm game. Though I think adoption's a better idea –biology may not cooperate." He stepped closer, and not for the first time she found herself looking up at him._

_ "Hmm. I suppose there will be a lot of little krogan running around soon." And as soon as he said it, she decided she liked that idea quite a bit. Then she remembered what lay ahead of them, what they to do first in order to get to their paradise._

_ "We just have to beat the Reapers first." She said sadly. He looked away from her._

_ "James told me an old saying here on Earth. 'May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.'" He turned back to her, "Not sure if turian heaven is the same as yours, but if these things go sideways and we both end up there… meet me at the bar. I'm buying." She felt her heart clench, unwilling to imagine him dying. _

_ "We're a team, Garrus. There's no Shepard without Vakarian," and those words hit her harder than most, "so you better remember to duck."_

_ "Sorry. Turians don't know how. But I'll improvise." She knew he was joking to get her to lighten up, but she couldn't shake the feeling. "And Shepard… Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you…" he stepped closer, taking both of her hands in his larger ones, "Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."_

She felt tears prick he eyes, and remembered telling him that he would never be alone. She remembered his face as she shoved him aboard the Normandy, injured and bleeding, as she told him to leave. As they said their last "I love you"'s before she ran to the beam that would take her to the Citadel… and now again, she was walking towards a beam that would take her somewhere. She began to run, dropping her gun in the process.

Shepard leapt into the shaft of light, and felt her skin begin to tingle as she free-fell. It was not an unpleasant feeling, almost warm and comforting. She thought of all of those whom she had lost, who had given their lives for her cause, and all of those she would be leaving behind.

Anderson, a man who had supported her since the beginning and had been a father figure in her life for many years. He was the one who had promised her mother that he would keep her safe, the man who checked in on her at boot camp even when she was the best of her class.

Thane, a wounded man who was not only strong, but also kind. He had set out to do what few others would: to bring light to galaxy instead of dark. He was the man who had righted his wrong with his son, who had never stopped helping even as he was slowly dying from an incurable disease.

Legion, a machine who had sacrificed itself for the betterment of its people. Legion, the one whom she had come to call her savior, her ally, and her friend. She remembered waking up to him in that med-bay bed, the relief that flowed through her at the sight of him.

Tali, the girl she watched become one of the strongest women she knew. The woman whom she viewed as a sister, whom she would never tire of talking to about the Normandy. She remembered a scared girl in the Wards, but she also remembered a capable Admiral telling the fleets to stand down.

Liara, an everlasting companion whom had matured so quickly in the time that she knew her. A woman who was intelligent, selfless, and brave. She thought of the many years she would live on after everyone else, and hoped she would not feel lonely in their absence.

Mordin, the salarian whom had given his life to right one of the biggest atrocities in the galaxy. The man who sacrificed himself for a species that hated him, that distrusted him, and that now were grateful to him. She remembered his singing and mutterings, the two things that had made him so unique.

Wrex, who she would forever consider one of her closest friends. He was a leader, the right one to lead the krogan into a new age. She remembered their conversations which merely consisted of their names, and felt herself smile.

Grunt, who she somehow viewed like her giant krogan baby after having released him from the tank. He was a character, and she loved him for his humor and tenaciousness. She hoped he found a family despite being a tank bred.

Samara, a woman willing to take her own life so that he daughter may be spared. Shepard was so glad she had saved such a wonderful woman. She hoped the justicar found peace with her remaining daughter of Lesus, and could live her remaining century in a happiness she had long deserved.

EDI, the co-pilot of her ship and an AI she had come to call a friend, despite their volatile beginnings on Luna. She hoped that EDI and Joker were happy together, and was hopeful that EDI would not feel grief over Shepard's death.

Jeff "Joker" Moreau, her long-time pilot and friend. He had stayed with her since the beginning, had always been there. She hoped that he would be able to stay with EDI for as long as he was able.

Kaidan, despite their hostilities on Horizon, had quickly become her friend again after coming to terms that she had moved on to Garrus. He had been happy for her, had hugged her close with strong arms that she remembered from Ilos. She hoped he found happiness in a new partner, as he was humble and courageous.

Lastly, she thought of Garrus again. He too had been there since the beginning. She remembered Omega, thinking she had lost him. She remembered his witty remarks, his playfulness, and his love for her. She hoped above all else that he would be able to forgive her for the broken promise.

And then she felt herself begin to fade, begin to die. It did not hurt, there was only blessed stillness and tingling all over. Then all feeling went away, her vision went black.

Shepard was gone.


	2. Breathe Again

Joker clicked and moved things on the view screen in front of him as Admiral Hackett spoke, "All fleets! The Crucible is armed! Disengage and head to rendezvous point." But he couldn't leave Shepard, not again. Her life signs had disappeared only a few minutes ago. He was searching for something, _anything_ that would tell him where she was. "I repeat: Disengage and get the hell out of here."

Kaidan laid a heavy hand on his shoulder, voice a harsh whisper filled with sadness, "Look, I know… but we have to." And he knew. He knew that they had to leave. But as he looked out at the Citadel and carnage surrounding it, he felt as though he was betraying her.

"Damn it." He said, and began to pilot the ship away from the Citadel, from the battle, and from Shepard. They went into FTL as green light began pulsate out from the Citadel.

Garrus had to be forced down to bed a third time by Chakwas when he refused to stay still for her ministrations over his wounds. "Please, Garrus, lie down. I can't have you running about bleeding everywhere!" she admonished him. But he needed to be up; he needed to get to Shepard. Where was she? He knew she had gotten to the Citadel, but had they picked her up? Was she okay? He supposed if she wasn't then she would be in here with him. Just then, Liara walked into the med-bay, wringing her hands.

"Garrus…" Her voice was soft, and broken, and he couldn't believe what his mind was suggesting. So he asked the only question he had.

"Where's Shepard?" And he heard her sob as she sat on a different bio-bed; he saw Chakwas drop her medi-jel pack. His chest clenched tight, restricting his breathing.

"I'm so sorry, Garrus…" Liara said, her shoulders heaving. Garrus sat up, ignoring his wounds, despite how much they ached.

"We have to go back. We have to—"

"Garrus there's no point!" Liara's voice rose, and then quieted, "She… She's gone, Garrus. Her life signs—we couldn't—" more tears ran down her face, and she swatted them away with her hands.

"No. We _have_ to go back! Shepard can't—she _promised_ me!" He moved to get out of the bed, but a sharp pain in his abdomen made him stop and hiss, "I'm not leaving her to die alone!" And with that he heaved himself up, blood beginning to seep through some of the bandages on his left arm. "Not again…" he whispered as he collapsed back onto the bed, feeling the sadness take him over. Chakwas gathered herself and looked at him, tutting as she redid the wrappings. He saw the tear marks on her face, and wondered if his grief was so obvious without them.

It felt as though a hole had been created in his chest, a chasm that stole his breath and only made him able to think about the past events. It didn't seem real; like he was dreaming or hallucinating and when he woke up Shepard would be there with her cute smile and sparkling eyes. It hurt, so deep that it shook him to his very core. It hurt more than any bullet hole, and rocket, and dead teammate. He tried to bury it as he lied there, breathing slowly, and remembering her.

He remembered meeting a human with the same goal as him. He remembered her storming into Dr. Michel's office to help him save the woman. He remembered her visits to him aboard the SR-1, and how she had helped him hunt down a monster. He remembered watching her with Kaidan as she smiled at the other human when he kissed her forehead, and Garrus felt such a jealousy he was unsure what to do with it. He remembered seeing her coming for him at his hideaway on Omega, and how relieved he had been to see her after two years of loneliness. He remembered seeing her heart be crushed as Kaidan called her a traitor on Horizon, as he walked away with a part of her that Garrus later put back in place. He remembered awkwardly standing in her cabin in uncomfortable clothes as he stuttered through seducing her while she grinned and began to lead for him. He remembered lying with her in bed after they had made love for the first time, brushing a stray lock of brown hair behind her ear as she smiled at him with such adoration that it made his heart flutter. He remembered taking her to one of the high beams on the Citadel for target practice for their first date, laughing as she lost the game but won a loving kiss. He remembered her carrying him to the Normandy as he struggled to stand on his own, and her telling him to leave. He remembered that the last thing he had ever said to her was "I love you," and how much he had meant that.

No matter how hard he tried, he knew he would never move on. Shepard was too special for him to ever forget.

They had crash landed on a planet after the green light had swept through the Normandy. He felt… Different. He looked different too. Green lines and code flashed across his skin, surrounded his pupils. His wounds were healing much faster than normal, and he felt powerful. Everyone and everything had been affected, including EDI, who now seemed much more human.

She had come to visit him, in person, and she was quiet at first. Then she began to speak. "Garrus… I know that we are not close friends, but I wish to offer my condolences. Shepard was…" EDI paused, unsure of herself as she stared into the distance, "She was the person who made me feel alive. She was the one who inspired hope for an entire galaxy. I do not know what you're going through, but I know that she loved you." Garrus' mandibles flared in a small smile, and EDI smiled back. She continued, "We are holding a ceremony, of sorts, to commemorate her honor on the name memorial. We wished… For you to place her name there. You are the only one aboard this ship deserving of that honor, though we understand if you find it—"

"No. I'll do it. Thank you, EDI." He said quickly. Of course he wanted to be the one to place her name. She looked at him with something that he had never seen on her face: emotion. It was a deep sadness, hinted with some bit of sympathy. It was odd to see emotion on a synthetic face, but also found that was not bad.

"If you need anything, Garrus, please do not hesitate to call for me. Or for anyone. We are all feeling the loss, but you most especially. The ship will be ready to go in a few hours, but before we leave we would like to hold the ceremony." With that she stood and left, leaving Garrus alone to stand and put his armor on, piece by piece, just as he would have to put his fragile heart back together, fragment by fragment, until he was able to breathe again.

He stood, holding the long and narrow slate of metal, as the crew gathered behind him. All looked solemn, especially Kaidan, Liara, Joker, and EDI. Though Tali's face was covered by her mask, he could hear her small sniffles and see her small shudders. He looked at where "Commander Shepard" was inscribed, and brushed his fingers along it in reverence. He stepped up to the board, glancing at all the names of their fallen comrades. Were they with Shepard, wherever she was? Were they sitting at the bar, looking down and smiling, silently sending their support? He hoped she was not alone.

He gently pressed the slate to the board, gently caressing her name before stepping back. He felt only slightly better at the act, knowing she would be remembered here forever. He looked to EDI, who looked to him and stepped closer. They embraced, Garrus feeling some of the tension leaving his body. He stepped back and she smiled up at him, squeezing his arms in reassurance. No, she was not his closest friend, but she was a friend none the less, and he appreciated her support. It was decided that each person would be given the chance to say something about Shepard that they wished to share. Garrus would go last.

Joker began, "So, here we all are. Well, not all of us," he coughed, sniffing, "We don't really need to say it, but I'm going to. Shepard was a great woman, and a great friend. We were lucky to be her crew, and I'll never forget her. She is the one who encouraged me to… Be with EDI." He looked at the robot—no, the _woman_, and smiled. She smiled back at him.

"Jeff… While you gave me the ability to think on my own, I must admit that it was Shepard who helped me feel alive. And now, because her, I am. And I am not alone." She looked around the room at everyone there, "She was my hope for a good ending to this war, and helped me understand myself. I will never forget that."

Tali spoke next, "Oh gosh… Shepard," her voice cracked lightly, and Liara looked at her sadly, patting her hand, "She helped me get my home back. She helped save my people, and she believed in me when I was just a teenager on her pilgrimage. She helped win Rannoch back, but she also gave me a home here. She comforted me when I lost my father… She will always be my inspiration." Liara embraced her, and then began to speak.

"I do not know where to start," Liara said, smiling lightly at a memory perhaps, "Shepard saved me, reunited me with my father, and helped me when I needed her. She was… The best friend I will ever know, for however long I may live. There are no words to convey the friendship I felt for her." She finished, tears streaming down her cheeks.

James spoke, "I didn't know Lola—Shepard—very long, but I always looked up to her. She was my role model, even if she planted me on my ass more than once," everyone chuckled at this, even Garrus, "She was a great woman, a great mentor, and a great friend." Garrus nodded at him when Vega smiled in his direction.

"Shepard was a stupid human," Javik began, but his voice was not mean. "But she was the best hope for every soul ever taken by the Reapers. She may have been a primitive, but I learned much from her about camaraderie and the worth of every species. I am glad to have had the honor of knowing her." He finished, clasping his hands behind his back.

Kaidan was hesitant to speak, looking at Garrus through tears. "I told her, before the final strike, that I had few regrets. I didn't tell her that my biggest regret was my treatment towards her on Horizon, and on Mars. She let me back into her life after I doubted her time and time again, and I'll always be thankful for that second chance. She will always hold a place in my heart." His tears were heavy, brows knitted together. James put a hand on his shoulder, smiling at him, and that is how they stood as the others all looked to Garrus.

"I love her." His voice was quiet, but firm in its intent. He didn't have anything else to say, and didn't use the past tense. He still loved her, would never not love her, and that is all that anyone needed to know. Everything else had already been said.

They all nodded, and as the others mingled, he stepped into the lift and punched in the number for Shepard's cabin.

Garrus sat on the edge of her bed, holding her helmet in his lap as he stared at it and ran his talon over the seams. Her familiar colors of black and blue stared up at him, the blue the same shade as her irises.

There was a knock at the door, and he was uncertain who it would be. To say he was surprised when he opened the door was an understatement. Kaidan stood before him.

"Hey, Garrus. I know you came up here to be alone and I—I shouldn't be here, I'm sorry to have intruded, I should go." He stammered over his words, looking embarrassed, and Garrus felt for him. Things were a bit awkward between them, regardless of being teammates.

"No, it's okay. What did you um, want?" He asked, staring at the human in front of him.

"I just… Wanted to talk. About Shepard. You've known her the best for the past years and I…" He trailed off, than started again, "I just want to know that she was okay after…" Garrus understood now. He felt guilt over his actions towards Shepard. Garrus motioned for him to enter, and they ended up sitting together awkwardly on the couch.

"To answer your question, and I'm not going to sugar coat it, no she was not. You hurt her," Kaidan flinched, "But she forgave you. You know she wasn't the type to hold grudges, Kaidan. I'm sorry that she… That we erm… You know." Garrus didn't look at Kaidan.

"No, it's okay. I'm actually glad that you were there for her. Thank you. For taking care of her. When I couldn't." His sentences were choppy, as he was holding back his emotions. He smiled at Garrus, and Garrus felt his mandibles twitch.

"It was an honor." He said simply, looking at the wall. Then he looked back to Kaidan, "Now, I have a question for you, and you can say it's none of my business, but are you and James…? You know…?" Kaidan blushed furiously, and Garrus actually laughed. Kaidan threw a mock glare at him, smiling a bit when it just caused Garrus to laugh harder.

"Yeah, we are. Why do you ask?" Kaidan said, the blush slowly going away.

"Oh I was just curious after the way he looked at you down there. You two are a good match. I guess now I understand why you didn't mind Shepard and I being together." Garrus teased just a bit, glad that most of the tension between him and the Lieutenant had most disappeared. Kaidan laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, ha-ha. Well, Garrus, I should go back down there. I just wanted to thank you." Kaidan stood and offered his hand, shaking Garrus' firmly before leaving.

Garrus sat on the couch and stared up through the viewpoint on the ceiling. At some point they had taken off, and space streamed by above. It was beautiful, looking out at the billions of stars. He wondered if Shepard was somewhere out there, smile brighter than any star, and wished she was there with him.


End file.
